Top Five Reasons You Need a Save the Date Card
Lisa Parker asked:
One of the most forgotten elements of any wedding is the save the date card. In fact, some couples choose not to send them at all. If you want to give your guests a save the date card, you can send them with your invitations or you can choose to send them separately after your guests have replied. It is always a good idea to send your guests a save the date card. Here are the top five reasons why save the date cards make sense.
#1 – Some guests really could forget your wedding if you do not remind them.
It is not meant to offend you, and it does not mean that you friends and family members do not care about you. Sometimes, life just gets in the way and people need to be reminded of your wedding. With a save the date card, your guests, even those that are very forgetful can attach the card to their date book or hang the card on the refrigerator. You invited your guests with the hopes that they can attend your celebration. Although you have spent the past several weeks or months thinking about your wedding, they have had to deal with other events in life. If you want them to come, send them a reminder.
#2 – You can avoid fielding phone calls about date, location, and time.
While your friends and family members may not forget about your wedding, they may not remember the exact time or location, or they may be confused about the day. During the few weeks before your wedding, you have hundreds of little details to worry about. Do you really want phone calls from everyone you know asking for the details, forcing you to give out your information over and over and over again? Instead, a save the date card can provide your guests with the necessary information, and this can save you time and aggravation.
#3 – When people are planning their own events, they can refer to your save the date card.
The date of your wedding should be the most important day in your life, but this is not always the top priority for your guests. Sometimes, your guests might be planning weddings of their own! By giving out save the date cards, you can make sure that there is no confusion about your big day. This is a gentle way to remind people not to plan their events on the same day as yours. Without a save the date card, they might forget and make plans they cannot change.
#4 – People can carry a save the date card with them.
Wedding invitations are often bulky, and it is unrealistic to expect someone to carry around your invitation. However, if someone is on the go and often making plans, it is important to have a way to quickly check a date. When you send a save the date card, they can take that with them to plan their coming weeks appropriately. Match your save the date card to the style of your wedding (formal, rustic, casual, etc), and you will also be reminding your guests about what they should wear to your wedding. Your guests can carry the card with them when they go shopping as a small reminder. This is important because plans may come up out of nowhere and it can help them plan accordingly if they have the date of your wedding with them. Another benefit of carrying around your wedding date is that they can be prepared if somebody asks them about the wedding celebration.
#5 – A save the date card says that you care.
Above all else, save the date cards provide a polite way to inform your guests about the date of the wedding. By sending your guest a save the date card, you show them that you care and really want them at your wedding. Save the date cards are traditional, polite, and thoughtful.
Not every wedding needs a save the date card. Sometimes, if your wedding is very low budget or planned extremely quickly, you do not need a save the date card. You may not need a save the date card if you have a very small close-knit guest list or are planning a reception after a civil ceremony. In most cases, however, a save the date card can really help your guests remember your wedding. Although your life has been revolving around the date for a long time, others need a reminder. If you want your friends at your wedding, send them save the date cards!
When you are planning your wedding take these five reasons for using a save the date card into consideration. There are many benefits to this type of stationery and you can simply send them with your wedding invitation or mail them closer to the ceremony as a reminder.
One of the most forgotten elements of any wedding is the save the date card. In fact, some couples choose not to send them at all. If you want to give your guests a save the date card, you can send them with your invitations or you can choose to send them separately after your guests have replied. It is always a good idea to send your guests a save the date card. Here are the top five reasons why save the date cards make sense.
#1 – Some guests really could forget your wedding if you do not remind them.
It is not meant to offend you, and it does not mean that you friends and family members do not care about you. Sometimes, life just gets in the way and people need to be reminded of your wedding. With a save the date card, your guests, even those that are very forgetful can attach the card to their date book or hang the card on the refrigerator. You invited your guests with the hopes that they can attend your celebration. Although you have spent the past several weeks or months thinking about your wedding, they have had to deal with other events in life. If you want them to come, send them a reminder.
#2 – You can avoid fielding phone calls about date, location, and time.
While your friends and family members may not forget about your wedding, they may not remember the exact time or location, or they may be confused about the day. During the few weeks before your wedding, you have hundreds of little details to worry about. Do you really want phone calls from everyone you know asking for the details, forcing you to give out your information over and over and over again? Instead, a save the date card can provide your guests with the necessary information, and this can save you time and aggravation.
#3 – When people are planning their own events, they can refer to your save the date card.
The date of your wedding should be the most important day in your life, but this is not always the top priority for your guests. Sometimes, your guests might be planning weddings of their own! By giving out save the date cards, you can make sure that there is no confusion about your big day. This is a gentle way to remind people not to plan their events on the same day as yours. Without a save the date card, they might forget and make plans they cannot change.
#4 – People can carry a save the date card with them.
Wedding invitations are often bulky, and it is unrealistic to expect someone to carry around your invitation. However, if someone is on the go and often making plans, it is important to have a way to quickly check a date. When you send a save the date card, they can take that with them to plan their coming weeks appropriately. Match your save the date card to the style of your wedding (formal, rustic, casual, etc), and you will also be reminding your guests about what they should wear to your wedding. Your guests can carry the card with them when they go shopping as a small reminder. This is important because plans may come up out of nowhere and it can help them plan accordingly if they have the date of your wedding with them. Another benefit of carrying around your wedding date is that they can be prepared if somebody asks them about the wedding celebration.
#5 – A save the date card says that you care.
Above all else, save the date cards provide a polite way to inform your guests about the date of the wedding. By sending your guest a save the date card, you show them that you care and really want them at your wedding. Save the date cards are traditional, polite, and thoughtful.
Not every wedding needs a save the date card. Sometimes, if your wedding is very low budget or planned extremely quickly, you do not need a save the date card. You may not need a save the date card if you have a very small close-knit guest list or are planning a reception after a civil ceremony. In most cases, however, a save the date card can really help your guests remember your wedding. Although your life has been revolving around the date for a long time, others need a reminder. If you want your friends at your wedding, send them save the date cards!
When you are planning your wedding take these five reasons for using a save the date card into consideration. There are many benefits to this type of stationery and you can simply send them with your wedding invitation or mail them closer to the ceremony as a reminder.
How Couples Can Discuss Money Without Arguing
July 31, 2009 by admin
Filed under Hairstyles
Dr. Doug Welpton asked:
Who doesn’t want love, healthy sex, and money as elements of a happy, fulfilled life? To acquire these things, however, we need successful relationships built through sharing thoughts and feelings. Below are 12 steps to a “connecting conversation” about finances. You relieve some of the financial stress when you can have a positive talk about money. These steps can be used to discuss any topic.
Financial difficulties can put a lot of stress on a relationship. The major breadwinner will often try to fix the problem without burdening his or her partner, while the partner may feel unimportant and left out. The relationship suffers as a consequence.
Step 1: Plan a reward for your conversation.
Discussing money is difficult for most couples even in good times. To help motivate you to undertake this conversation, each start by sharing a reward you would like to receive for completing this first conversation. The reward should be something that you look forward to enthusiastically, like going to a movie, going out to dinner, attending a concert or a play, planning a vacation or a cruise, even planning to retire earlier based on having worked together on your financial plan. Give yourselves a reward when you have completed this conversation.
Step 2: Accept that you and your partner will have differences.
It is unusual for two people to think exactly alike about money. One partner tends to save, the other to spend. Each position has value for the relationship. A critical step toward working as a team is to appreciate how your partner contributes to your financial partnership.
Step 3: Set aside an uninterrupted time to talk.
You are not going to fix all your problems in this one conversation, and that should not be your goal, so 20 minutes is enough time to talk. Your most important goal is to have a positive experience talking so you are motivated to keep having talks. If you run into a difficult issue that makes it hard to continue to talk, take a break and resume a few hours later.
Step 4: Find a “business” setting in your home where you can focus and listen without distractions.
You could use facing chairs at the kitchen table, for example. This room should not be a place where you are romantic. Agree not to answer the phone and to take care of possible distractions in advance.
Step 5: Use impersonal energy, not personal energy or walls.
Impersonal energy is what you use at work when dealing with a colleague. You are fully attentive but detached from taking things personally. Avoid using personal energy where your primary focus is on feelings. Taking care of feelings makes it difficult to focus on the task of solving your financial problems. Personal energy can lead you to take things personally and feel more vulnerable
Step 6: Make eye contact so that you each feel what you are saying is valued and heard.
If you look away your partner may interpret that to mean you aren’t interested or don’t value their input.
Step 7: Monitor your tone of voice.
Your tone is more important than your words. If your tone sounds critical, blaming, whiny, or weak, rather than non-judgmental, your conversation can quickly turn into the blame game.
Step 8: Talk without blaming or criticizing.
Use ‘I’ statements, not ‘you’ statements. ‘You’ statements are about your partner; they can be accusatory and provoke defensiveness or aggravate your partner.
Step 9: Take responsibility for your thoughts and your mindsets.
We interpret the sights and sounds we perceive so quickly we do not realize our thinking gives them a meaning almost instantly. For example, when we hear a loud bang outside, we give it a meaning so quickly we don’t realize our mind has interpreted it as either a dangerous bomb exploding or a joyous celebration starting. We create our feelings depending on the interpretation. If we think it’s a bomb we feel fear, whereas if we think it’s a celebration we feel joy. Our interpretations arise from our mindsets, our conditioned beliefs that started in childhood.
Step 10: Take turns talking while using sentence stems that take responsibility.
Each partner should use three short sentences starting with these sentence stems:
1. “What I am making myself think is….”
2. “What I am making myself feel about this is….” (Feelings are single words like fear, pain, anger, guilt, shame, love, joy, passion, depressed, and excited. Our thoughts require several words. You may have more than one feeling about your thought.)
3. “What I would appreciate you doing about this is….”
For example I might say, “What I am making myself think is we don’t have enough money to pay all our bills. What I am making myself feel about it is fear, pain, guilt, shame, and anger. What I would appreciate you doing is having a conversation with me so we can prioritize and plan how to pay these bills and prepare for future expenses.”
Once you have spoken your three sentences, your partner responds using the same process. When your partner is talking, keep in mind that your partner is responsible for creating what they are thinking and saying, just as you are for what you are thinking and saying. It is to be expected that your partner’s perception about your finances and bills will be different from yours, which is why it is so important to have your conversation. Your partner’s mindset is as valid for them as your mindset is for you. Each of your pictures of your finances needs to be heard and respected to make plans that you can work on as a team.
Your goal in talking is to tell your partner what you think and feel, not to try to change your partner. If your words bring about a change in their thinking, that is determined by your partner. Likewise, you listen to hear your partner’s thoughts and feelings. You do not listen to defend or justify yourself.
Step 11: Identify and write down practical goals.
After talking back and forth for 15 minutes, each write down three changes you will start immediately to help with your finances and continue until you meet again in three months. These goals are for you. Your partner will come up with their goals. You may share a common goal that you both work on. Sweep your side of the street and let your partner sweep theirs. Quarterly meetings are needed to stay current with your finances. When you have a pressing financial problem you will need to meet more frequently.
Step 12: Practice gratitude for each step your partner takes in listening and sharing.
We do more of what we are appreciated for. When not appreciated, we usually do less of what we were doing. When you appreciate your partner it helps you; you will raise your energy and feel better. If you criticize your partner you lower your energy and make yourself feel worse.
It is important to realize that you can use this 12 step connecting conversation by yourself to change your relationship. Even if your partner is not involved in using it or not motivated to learn it, you can practice all the steps yourself. You will change yourself in the process, which in turn will change your relationship. You will feel better about yourself and how you are relating to your partner.
Who doesn’t want love, healthy sex, and money as elements of a happy, fulfilled life? To acquire these things, however, we need successful relationships built through sharing thoughts and feelings. Below are 12 steps to a “connecting conversation” about finances. You relieve some of the financial stress when you can have a positive talk about money. These steps can be used to discuss any topic.
Financial difficulties can put a lot of stress on a relationship. The major breadwinner will often try to fix the problem without burdening his or her partner, while the partner may feel unimportant and left out. The relationship suffers as a consequence.
Step 1: Plan a reward for your conversation.
Discussing money is difficult for most couples even in good times. To help motivate you to undertake this conversation, each start by sharing a reward you would like to receive for completing this first conversation. The reward should be something that you look forward to enthusiastically, like going to a movie, going out to dinner, attending a concert or a play, planning a vacation or a cruise, even planning to retire earlier based on having worked together on your financial plan. Give yourselves a reward when you have completed this conversation.
Step 2: Accept that you and your partner will have differences.
It is unusual for two people to think exactly alike about money. One partner tends to save, the other to spend. Each position has value for the relationship. A critical step toward working as a team is to appreciate how your partner contributes to your financial partnership.
Step 3: Set aside an uninterrupted time to talk.
You are not going to fix all your problems in this one conversation, and that should not be your goal, so 20 minutes is enough time to talk. Your most important goal is to have a positive experience talking so you are motivated to keep having talks. If you run into a difficult issue that makes it hard to continue to talk, take a break and resume a few hours later.
Step 4: Find a “business” setting in your home where you can focus and listen without distractions.
You could use facing chairs at the kitchen table, for example. This room should not be a place where you are romantic. Agree not to answer the phone and to take care of possible distractions in advance.
Step 5: Use impersonal energy, not personal energy or walls.
Impersonal energy is what you use at work when dealing with a colleague. You are fully attentive but detached from taking things personally. Avoid using personal energy where your primary focus is on feelings. Taking care of feelings makes it difficult to focus on the task of solving your financial problems. Personal energy can lead you to take things personally and feel more vulnerable
Step 6: Make eye contact so that you each feel what you are saying is valued and heard.
If you look away your partner may interpret that to mean you aren’t interested or don’t value their input.
Step 7: Monitor your tone of voice.
Your tone is more important than your words. If your tone sounds critical, blaming, whiny, or weak, rather than non-judgmental, your conversation can quickly turn into the blame game.
Step 8: Talk without blaming or criticizing.
Use ‘I’ statements, not ‘you’ statements. ‘You’ statements are about your partner; they can be accusatory and provoke defensiveness or aggravate your partner.
Step 9: Take responsibility for your thoughts and your mindsets.
We interpret the sights and sounds we perceive so quickly we do not realize our thinking gives them a meaning almost instantly. For example, when we hear a loud bang outside, we give it a meaning so quickly we don’t realize our mind has interpreted it as either a dangerous bomb exploding or a joyous celebration starting. We create our feelings depending on the interpretation. If we think it’s a bomb we feel fear, whereas if we think it’s a celebration we feel joy. Our interpretations arise from our mindsets, our conditioned beliefs that started in childhood.
Step 10: Take turns talking while using sentence stems that take responsibility.
Each partner should use three short sentences starting with these sentence stems:
1. “What I am making myself think is….”
2. “What I am making myself feel about this is….” (Feelings are single words like fear, pain, anger, guilt, shame, love, joy, passion, depressed, and excited. Our thoughts require several words. You may have more than one feeling about your thought.)
3. “What I would appreciate you doing about this is….”
For example I might say, “What I am making myself think is we don’t have enough money to pay all our bills. What I am making myself feel about it is fear, pain, guilt, shame, and anger. What I would appreciate you doing is having a conversation with me so we can prioritize and plan how to pay these bills and prepare for future expenses.”
Once you have spoken your three sentences, your partner responds using the same process. When your partner is talking, keep in mind that your partner is responsible for creating what they are thinking and saying, just as you are for what you are thinking and saying. It is to be expected that your partner’s perception about your finances and bills will be different from yours, which is why it is so important to have your conversation. Your partner’s mindset is as valid for them as your mindset is for you. Each of your pictures of your finances needs to be heard and respected to make plans that you can work on as a team.
Your goal in talking is to tell your partner what you think and feel, not to try to change your partner. If your words bring about a change in their thinking, that is determined by your partner. Likewise, you listen to hear your partner’s thoughts and feelings. You do not listen to defend or justify yourself.
Step 11: Identify and write down practical goals.
After talking back and forth for 15 minutes, each write down three changes you will start immediately to help with your finances and continue until you meet again in three months. These goals are for you. Your partner will come up with their goals. You may share a common goal that you both work on. Sweep your side of the street and let your partner sweep theirs. Quarterly meetings are needed to stay current with your finances. When you have a pressing financial problem you will need to meet more frequently.
Step 12: Practice gratitude for each step your partner takes in listening and sharing.
We do more of what we are appreciated for. When not appreciated, we usually do less of what we were doing. When you appreciate your partner it helps you; you will raise your energy and feel better. If you criticize your partner you lower your energy and make yourself feel worse.
It is important to realize that you can use this 12 step connecting conversation by yourself to change your relationship. Even if your partner is not involved in using it or not motivated to learn it, you can practice all the steps yourself. You will change yourself in the process, which in turn will change your relationship. You will feel better about yourself and how you are relating to your partner.
